Hi there, stranger! Here it is, the very first installment of this very original idea of mine (yeah, right). I’m going to start on something easy, and I decided to have a mini rant about blogging, my ideas about it, why I started it and why I
hate love it. I’m joking, of course. But boy, is this stuff harder than I thought.
I’m sitting here with a glass of Smirnoff and coke mix (ok, tea) and the thought came to me that I should probably start at the beginning. Why not discuss the topic of blogging in an actual blog? Inception, right? *Cue loud Inception trumpet noise*. I should probably mention that this blog entry is written in the midst of a huge procrastination shit-storm because I simply do not want to write my essay that’s due on Tuesday. Stay in school, kids. And because I don’t want to write this essay, I got my thinking caps on and started writing this instead.
(The above gif is to become my representative for how I feel while I blog. Prepare to see this A LOT.)
Let’s start with timekeeping. I started this blog in the early hours of an August morning (I think? Wtf…) and it was born because I have no hobbies. Well I do, but not much. More on that later. Anyway, I decided that I could start blogging as a way to expel my ever-building tension at having no one (except my sister, really) to discuss books with. My friends barely read, and college has rendered reading impossible for the ones who do. So I created this blog, which took me ages because a) I’m indecisive as fuck and can’t pick templates etc without changing them a dozen times (“She’s indecisive, she can’t decide”- Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston (Eenie Meenie)) and b) my computer skills ARE SO GODDAMN AWFUL, it’s such a struggle for me to do things because I hate computers. Now I know this is hardly computer programming, but when I’m ladled with all this stuff to do to create a blog (or anything online) I get really flustered. Why? I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like I was born decades before computers came into existence. This mystery will never be solved.
Anyway, after I managed to create a somewhat decent blog site, I realised that I would have to actually write blogs. Yay! This was exciting at first, because I’ve always wanted to write properly about the books I read and I couldn’t really do that before. And it started off fine. I wrote a few reviews, introduced Top5s Thursdays, and was all set to go on my merry way until I had one very serious revelation: this shit is HARD.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe my chronic laziness and poor timekeeping is getting in the way, but I find it tough to balance all my reading (which I had to reduce once college started) and then the blogging. Plus, I’m a hardcore party animal and I often find myself out in the town with da boyz. Not really, no. But I am out doing college-student stuffs a lot of the time, extra curricular activities, etc. So when do I find time to blog? When I have an “oh, shit!” moment on a Friday as I remember I had a blog due on Thursday. When I’m procrastinating hard enough to melt steel and decide to blog instead. When I push myself to blog because I got myself into this mess so I must carry on (“My Heart Will Go On- Celine Dion).
Not that I dislike blogging, because I actually really like it. But I’m wondering if I’m the only one who struggles with balancing college work with reading and blogging. It’s easy to feel discouraged when others seem like they’re getting along just fine. Does anyone else critique their own blogs or is it just me? I’m curious.
And I know this is a fault on my part, but it really doesn’t help that I keep introducing new features to this blog. But, to avoid monotony, I shall keep adding them until I am satisfied. Speaking of which, I’ll have a new feature out in a few weeks…..More on that later. 😀
Now, it’s not all negativity. It’s nice having a space to vent about book things. I like writing, and when I get excited it shows in what I put out. I like being unrestricted in my opinions, and I don’t have any standards to uphold except the ones I set for myself. For anyone who has/is studying English at college, you’ll know that there is a certain professionalism you have to exude when you critique literature. But that is SO BORING. After long days of writing things like “this work by X delves into the psychological conflict between Mr A and Mrs B”, like I do for my good English assignments, I enjoy letting loose and ranting about YA novels, with loads of swearing and excessive use of exclamation points and the phrase “I can’t even.” It’s so much more fun. And it comes across as more personal, realistic and representative of ME, and not the fancy words I must spin for college. This will be another blog topic later. I’m putting it here so I don’t forget.
So, to conclude this absolutely meaningless blog entry, I just want to say that I don’t think I’ll ever get the balance right. I don’t think I’ll ever find time (while I’m still a student, that is) to show the kind of commitment that I wanted to when I started. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t try. No comparing myself to others. No feeling guilty when I miss a week. Because after all, this was a project started by me, for whatever unfortunate (and truly loved and appreciated) passers by who take the time to read what I write. I set my own limits, and I’ll stick to those, so help me Jesus. And at the end of the day, if I do mess up and make a mess of everything, there are always plenty of these perfect and all-encompassing things to succinctly get my point across:
Ironically, ranting about how hard blogging is turned out to be the easiest and fastest blog entry to write. Sigh.
Thank you for reading! More soon!